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Discussion: Ask vs. Guess Culture

Hello Ops Leaders! 

 

My partner shared this video with me recently about Ask vs. Guess communication styles:

 

Thought this was fascinating to look at through the lens of a leader. It gave me a lot to think about when it comes to understanding how to best delegate tasks and work with your direct reports. Funny enough my partner considers me Guess in our personal life but Ask in my work life 🤣

 

I’m curious to learn from you all:

  1. Would you consider yourself having the Ask or Guess communication style?
  2. Does it differ for you depending on your environment?
  3. Could we turn this into a fun ice breaker template in Miro?

 

17 replies

Henrik Ståhl
Userlevel 7
Badge +7

Really interesting video @Michelle Murphy! I like the fact that she said her husband is “90 percent Ask Culture” (instead of just saying “he's an Asker”) and also that she specified that it's not binary, that we are all combinations of both but to different extents. 

  1. I definitely gravitate towards Ask, especially in work situations. Even though I'm intuitive and generally pretty good at reading people. The reason why I gravitate towards Ask is because I prefer directness. I'd say I'm like 60-40 in favor of Ask.
  2. Absolutely! I tend to be extremely direct towards bosses and people “higher up the chain,” even peers, but much more balanced in situations where I have greater influence or mandate as others (due to role/title or other factors).
  3. OF COURSE!! 🤩
J

I love this subject, being direct but in a kind way. I would love to learn more. I can imagine a tree, starting with a question- then possible answers. This can help people understand how to remain positive and get to the real issue as well as a possible solution that does not take away too much time. Eventually even ending with a question. Like auto response. 
 

When ever I want to do something or ask someone to do something or someone asks me to do something, I auto respond with let me look at my schedule. Checking my calendar app. 
 

What do you think?


Can we come up with a tree that helps with small talk situations?

can we come up with an idea to teach people how to say no and why?

 

wonderful subject. I would like to work with you. I see myself learning so much, through this type of creative thinking process

 

Alex W
Userlevel 2

I struggle with the Guess method. I’d venture to link it back to where I live and grew up; upper midwest (USA). Asking can be difficult because we keep to ourselves so much, but I try to remind myself that my “guess nature” has squandered opportunities to improve upon something.

We’re a very subtle, passive group of people, and much of the nation knows it 😂 . Unless we’re speaking to/with our immediate family members, a lot of our communication functions on the Guess methodology because we see it as rude unless it’s a blatantly obvious Ask. 

In the workplace, it certainly turns into a bit more of an Ask culture, but that’s because we’re all very connected to the work we do, so the transparency helps us quite a bit. Even then, personally, I tend to struggle with Ask because I don’t want to have someone get annoyed that they’d have to elaborate or reiterate.

Having that be an icebreaker would be quite interesting. I think it’d give a solid idea as to how a group will function, and provide others better insight into how they’ll have to conduct themselves. 

(Thank you for the post! That was something I never considered.)

-Alex-
Michelle Murphy
Userlevel 4
Badge +3

@Alex W and @John.Carter87 I love the idea of an ice breaker / initial question to figure out if someone is more ask or guess culture! I’m going to noodle on this and see if we can put together a template for the Miroverse

 

Also @Alex W I too am a raised-guess-culture-in-the-midwest gal but having lived in LA for 15 years I’m definitely more ask now, ha!

Henrik Ståhl
Userlevel 7
Badge +7

@Michelle Murphy @Alex W @John.Carter87 Let me know if you're interested in collaborating on a template! 🌟

Michelle Murphy
Userlevel 4
Badge +3

@Henrik Ståhl I’m in!!

Henrik Ståhl
Userlevel 7
Badge +7

@Michelle Murphy Cool, let’s set something up! 💃

Michelle Murphy
Userlevel 4
Badge +3

Awesome! How about a meeting some time next week to discuss? Next Weds the mornings of the 19th & 20th are open for me - I know we have time zones to cover haha

Henrik Ståhl
Userlevel 7
Badge +7

@Michelle Murphy I'm game! What timezone are you in, EDT or PDT (or something in between)? Evenings works best for me, like post 6pm CET. 😊

A

Whenever I try to use the Guess method, I have difficulty. I would link it to my hometown and growing up in the midwest. I try to remind myself that my "guess nature" has squandered opportunities to improve.

The nation knows we're a very subtle, passive group. When it comes to communication, we often use the Guess methodology unless we are talking to/with family members. 

The workplace certainly becomes more Ask culture because everyone is very connected to their work, so transparency helps a lot. However, I tend to struggle with Ask because I don't want someone to get annoyed if they have to elaborate.

That would be a good icebreaker. In addition, it provides better insight into how the group will work, and how others will have to behave. 

I never considered that! Thanks for the post.

Noradavis

Hello Ops Leaders! My partner shared this video with me recently about Ask vs. Guess communication styles: Thought this was fascinating to ... In Guess Culture, you must carefully feel out the circumstances of the other party, and you would never  clickercounter.org spacebar-clicker  dream of asking for something unless you ...A clear path between an ask vs guess culture can be paved through curiosity, reflection, and the desire for a shared understanding. But first must come the ...A clear path between an ask vs guess culture can be paved through curiosity, reflection, and the desire for a shared understanding. But first must come the ...

Henrik Ståhl
Userlevel 7
Badge +7

Hi @Noradavis! I'm sorry, but I have a hard time following your trail of thoughts. Did something happen with the formatting of your post? Some things you write seem to cut mid-sentence. Or it might just be me (I'm not a native English speaker 😅)

Michelle Murphy
Userlevel 4
Badge +3

I was wondering the same @Henrik Ståhl ha!

I’m in PDT!

Henrik Ståhl
Userlevel 7
Badge +7

@Michelle Murphy Which means I'm 6 hours ahead of you. Would you be up for a lunch/post-lunch session? 😄

Henrik Ståhl
Userlevel 7
Badge +7

(I mean lunch PDT, just to clarify – I don't expect you to be very eager to chat about this at 6AM… 😂)

Michelle Murphy
Userlevel 4
Badge +3

@Henrik Ståhl hahah amazing, yes that would be great! What about this Friday, 10/28? I also will be in NY next week and am pretty open the morning (NY time) of the 2nd.

Michelle Murphy
Userlevel 4
Badge +3

In case anyone is curious, I wrote an article on how to use Ask vs. Guess culture to be a better manager! https://medium.com/better-humans/how-to-use-ask-and-guess-culture-to-be-a-better-manager-7a57b456fdb

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